The Invisible Number That Multiplies (or Divides) Your Social Interactions
What would you think if I told you that you have an invisible little number floating above your head that boosts or hurts the way you interact with others?
TL;DR: If you want to maximize the positive impact of your interactions with others, focus first on improving your invisible multiplying number.
In the anime series Death Note, the protagonist can see how many days of life each person has left through a number floating above their heads.
The number in Death Note
Just like in the series, we all have an invisible number above our heads.
Every person you meet automatically and inevitably assigns you a number.
We also assign numbers to others: you could say this number is a kind of personal “status” that influences every future interaction.
And not only do others do this. You also assign yourself a number. That’s what we call self-esteem, and it also shapes your interactions.
The First Impression: Your Initial Number
If you’re not a public figure, the number you get from someone starts with the first impression.
In that moment, unconsciously, the other person places a value above your head that will affect every future interaction.
This score can be based on:
- Body language (55%), tone (38%), and words (7%).
- The context in which you’re introduced.
- Social references (who introduces you, where you work).
- Status signals (clothing, vocabulary, confidence).
That’s why so many “rules” exist about making a good first impression: it’s the key moment to secure the highest number possible based on what you project.
How the Brain Uses That Number
Imagine that the person you admire most in the world (think of who that is) is undercover in your city.
You bump into them on the street, they realize you recognized them, and they offer to take a selfie with you.
Would you treasure it? Print it and hang it in your office? Share it on your socials?
Now think of someone you’d feel uncomfortable even sharing an elevator with. As you exit, they ask for a selfie.
You reluctantly agree… but would you post it online?
The number we assign to the first person is 1000, and to the second is -20.
A handshake with a 1000 becomes a story worth retelling for years.
A handshake with a -20 is quickly hidden or forgotten as an awkward moment.
Evaluate the Context Where Your Interactions Work Best
Before starting an important interaction, evaluate in what context your number will be highest:
- Do you want to impress someone you like?
- Connect with someone for business?
Then choose the moment and place where you hold the biggest advantage.
The number is completely contextual:
you can be a micro-celebrity with a 1000 in one environment and look like a -200 in another.
Example:
If there’s a project at work where you want to be the leader:
- Identify the decision-makers.
- Research their values and evaluation criteria.
- Look for opportunities to raise your number in the areas that influence the final decision.
Don’t Ignore Negative Numbers
Remember, the number can also work against you.
If you’re perceived with a negative number in some context, evaluate if the cost of raising it is worth the effort:
- Changing companies may be more effective than asking for a raise.
- Building new social media profiles can overcome damaged reputations.
- Different social circles provide second chances.
A neutral number (0) with growth potential beats an entrenched negative number (-200) that could take years to rehabilitate.
Conclusion: Raise Your Number Before Acting
The number acts as a multiplier or divider of your interactions.
Before every important interaction:
- Analyze which version of yourself projects the highest number.
- Identify what you can do in advance to raise it.
And remember: sometimes it’s more valuable to start fresh in a new place with a positive number than to exhaust yourself trying to raise a negative one.